Friday, May 15, 2009

Woe - Conflicted Me!

Well, I'm doing better, but still not posting as often as I should. I drove to work this morning feeling very conflicted. I had been a widower for just over 3 years when I met DKB. From the first time we met, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Now comes the conflicted part - I was married to my late wife for over 29 years, and loved her very much. So even though I know in my mind its not cheating - it feels that way sometimes. And perversely, since I love DKB, when I think about my first wife - I feel like I'm cheating on her. I know time will help rectify these feelings. I know that I've never cheated on anyone and as my mother told me one evening when I visited her - "You're lucky to have found 2 good women in your life". I suppose I am. I know a lot of men never find "the one", but I've done it twice. DKB and my first wife are 2 very different people, but there are things they have in common, too. Its the differences & similarities that make every day a journey of discovery and joy for me as I spend time with her.

Moondance is coming up next week and DKB and I will be enjoying it for the first time together. Hard to belive that after planning this trip for almost 4 months, that its nearly here. DKB had figured out that the last day of Moondance will be exactly halfway from the date we first met until the date of our wedding. I know that will be here before we know it too. So much to do -so much to do!!

I'm goin to wrap it up for now, but I want to close with a Mark Twain quote I heard on last night's season finale of CSI (and it is so true) : "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. "

Everyone have a great day!

1 comment:

  1. aw sweeterpea, you're not cheating on me when you think of sue. not at all. she was a huge part of your life and her presence is still a part of you, it will always be so. i don't feel betrayed, and hope you don't feel that you are betraying me when thinking of her. love ya, grins, debra