Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Playing Catch-up!

First, I want to start with the good stuff.  On December 4th, the SHS Yellowjackets won the Mississippi 6A Football championship by defeating the Petal Panthers, 27-7.  Starkville pretty much dominated in a game played on the campus of That School Up North. A great finish to the SHS football season of my 60th year.


Now - the not-so-good.  Mama passed away on December 15th (just one week ago) and the funeral was held on December 17th.  She is interred next to Daddy (Fred) and just a few steps from my grandparents (Big Daddy and Mamma Jenny Sanders - her parents (Grover /Jenny).)  And just a few more steps from Sue, my first wife. 
I've been telling everyone that asks that it is a sense of grief mixed with relief.  She was not present mentally, and the pain, while treated by hospice care, did not go on for a long period.  No more suffering.
As I said before, December is tough on DKW and I (Sue died 10 years ago, her mom last year, and now my mom this year).  I try to tell everyone, hold on to the memories of Mama at her best, and not how she was the last few months.  Even with though she was trying at times, I do have fond, loving memories, and she will be missed.
Everyone have a great (holi-)day!

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Another Trying Week - Mama Not Doing Well

Hi All,

The title pretty much says it all.  That said, everyone that I needed to notify - family and friends of family - has been contacted by now.  So I feel free to post this here now.  What follows is excerpts from an email that DKW wrote to notify some friends:   (Please note I left out a lot of medical and personal details for privacy's sake.)

Hi, Folks:  Some of you are aware that Carolyn's mental and physical health has declined rapidly in the past six to seven weeks.  Dementia has not just made an appearance, but has moved in, settled down, and taken up permanent residency.  She is cognizant at times, but it is rather sporadic and sometimes it's difficult to tell if she is recognizing the world, people, and words around her.

 We are asking that no one feel any sort of pressure to visit, however if you want to do so, you certainly may.  We will be taking things one day at a time, of course, and ask that you call before you plan to come, so that we can let you know if that is a good time.  Carolyn has been sleeping lots and lots, but there are times when we are bathing and caring for her more intimate needs that would be most inconvenient to receive visitors at those times or shortly thereafter, as these activities are extremely exhausting for Carolyn.

For those of you who live out of the area and yet would like to be of assistance, please do not feel you must hasten or plan to be here for services and such.  Jerry is available in the evenings for phone calls, from 4:30p to 6:30p {except tonight, Thursday Dec 10th ~~ he is actually being Santa for the children at Emerson today, as he has for the past seven years}.  Carolyn is not really present in any sort of way, and I feel any visits at this point would not be noted by her.  So please do not feel you must come to see her.  It'd be much better if you remember her as the caring and loving person she was when you knew her. 

As far as us:  Jerry is, of course, grieving.  It hurts to see his mother so incapacitated.  However, he is strong and since her decline has been rapid, her suffering has been minimal, of that he is extremely glad.  Please understand, if he seems distracted or abrupt on the phone.

As for myself, I really am ok.  I appreciate your concern and condolences; however, at this time, I'd rather focus on Carolyn and process things more deeply at some later time.  Thank you all for your consideration and understanding, D.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Trying Week

Just a quick post.  Must leave for my new part-time job in about 10 minutes.  The job is not the reason for the title though.  This week (today - 12/3 - for me & Saturday 12/5 for DKW) marks the passing of two special people that we each loved for different reasons.  My first wife, Sue, died unexpectedly as of the result of a fire 10 years ago today.  It still affects me, and always will.  DKW knows this, accepts it, and this is just one of the reasons I love her and married her.  Saturday marks one year since DKW's mom passed.  Her relationship with her mom went far beyond mother/daughter - they were best friends.  The only people I know that I can compare it to is the relationship that Sue had with our oldest daughter, Melissa.  It physically hurt them both.  I love them both.  Everyone have a great day. 
Melissa / Debra - I love you!